There are a thousand reasons why sex can be a wonderful source of pleasure. One of them is because it gives you a chance to see a private, special side to another person that few other people in the world may ever get to see. The cynical among you may read “a few” and balk. But whether your lover has been known by one other person, a dozen, a hundred or ten thousand – it’s still a small number in the grand scheme of things in the world.

When people have sex or are in love or lust, they often let their guard down. They use baby talk or they relax and fall asleep in your arms. Maybe they snore right after sex. Or they make a disarming “O” face. They may tell you about their ejaculatory issues or the way they need a certain type of tongue flick in order to come. She may show you her favorite position and he may bend over while you search out the infamous p-spot.

The boring office guy transforms into a passionate lover of giving oral sex. The strict school teacher turns into a total softie when you hold her in your arms. The cocky class clown shows his scared, insecure side, wondering if he’s a good enough lover to please you.

With sex, anything is possible. You get to be whomever you want – it’s true. But that also means that your partner gets to be whomever they want, too, and that may not be the same as the person they masquerade as during their school or work day.

To be sexual with someone is both an honor and a responsibility. It means that you may not only have their heart in your hands, but you may also hold their sensitivities and their vulnerabilities, even their reputation. Your partner may be trusting you to not tell their buddies about their poetry-reciting side or their erectile problems or orgasmic screams. There may be secrets that just the two of you share, there in the bed or laying naked on the bathroom floor.

Having sex with another living, breathing human being is a big responsibility, but a gift too. Because whether you stay together or eventually part ways, there will always be a tiny corner of the universe that you two shared, alone in a bed, tracing each other’s freckles, naked and fragile and wanting, listening to Sam Cooke or John Legend or the pounding of each other’s hearts, and not wanting to look at the clock, lest it all have to end.

Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH writes Velocity's weekly Loveville column and is author of the book Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.

There have been a thousand articles about the many health benefits of sex – better blood pressure, lower stress, maybe even reduced cancer risk. I should know as I’ve been interviewed for quite a few of these articles! What I always want to add, though, is that sex is good for us for a whole host of reasons and the physical health benefits are only the tip of the iceberg. In this four-part series, we’ll explore four other reasons why sex is good for people, starting with this: you get to be someone new.

It’s easy to get stuck in our daily roles as students, employees, moms, supervisors, girlfriends or wives. We may feel sometimes as though we’re saying, screaming or – let’s face it – nagging the same things in the same ways day after day.

Sex gives us the opportunity to step outside of ourselves. Just like in adolescence when teenagers try on a bunch of different identities to see which one feels the best to them (jock, prep, goth, artist, class clown, book worm, tom boy, actress), adults get to try on different identities in bed.

One night you might find yourself making love to your partner in the most sensuous of ways. You’re a lover, someone who wonders at every inch of his or her freckled or increasingly wrinkled-but-luscious skin. You brush against his stubble with the touch of someone who loves and loves and then loves some more.

Another day you’re the vixen who draws your partner into the pantry for a quickie while your roommate’s in the shower or baby is asleep. You’re full of surprises, eager to please, full of energy and spontaneity.

Another evening you might be dressed in heels and black lace lingerie, with a sex toy and some new moves from your favorite sex book in the queue. You have plans for your partner – and you expect or rather demand pleasure. Things might even get a little loud or rough.

That’s sex for you. True, things always run the risk of being routine or falling into a rut but sex doesn’t have to be that way. You could try having sex in new places to get your creative juices flowing or you could simply try a new mindset, pretend that you’re more confident about your body than you normally feel or take on the perspective that sex is about love, rather than just orgasm, or any number of mindsets that help you to go in the sexy, sumptuous direction you want to go.

• Pack napkins and towels. Although these may come in handy for food spills or impromptu dips in state park lakes you may come across, they also work well for sex clean-up should you decide to pull over and release some sexual tension together roadside. Place a towel under the seated partner to reduce the likelihood of a wet spot staining your car and use napkins for any additional clean-up.

• Choose your music wisely. This may seem obvious but plenty of couples have such divergent tastes in music that they end up fighting on road trips, which gets in the way of connecting and having a good time. Try to bring music that has at least some overlap to your tastes or consider books on tape as an option. You might even download a little erotica or some sex podcasts, like our free Kinsey Confidential podcasts. You may learn something new, it may open up sexual communication between you two, or it may even inspire you to try something fun once you reach your destination.

• Wear your seat belt at all times. As much fun as Road Head can be, there have also been some Road Head-linked car accidents. Rather than do it while driving, please pull over to the side. If for some reason you go forward and do it while driving, at least keep both of your seat belts on and try to drive at lower speeds, with few cars around.

• Skirts and sweatpants. If there’s even an inkling of a chance that you’ll have sex on the way to your weekend vacation spot, wear clothes that will make it easier to get to each other’s bodies while you’re pulled over on a highway shoulder.

If you’re out having road trip sex this summer and come up with a few tips of your own, send them my way! I’m always interested in new ideas.

Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH writes Velocity's weekly Loveville column and is author of the book Because It Feels Good: A Woman's Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction.